Why You Are Important Mama & Why You Should Feel Empowered

You are an infant who was just born. All you know is what you feel, and there is no boundary between who you are and what you experience. What comes next begins to shape your understanding of who you are, everything is like a mirror reflecting your developing self back to you. 

If your mother gazes at you with loving eyes and provides deep connection and a feeling of comfort, you feel good. If instead your mother is unable to provide deep connection and intimacy, you do not feel good.  These positive or negative reflections begin to shape your brain, your emotions, and set the foundation for how you will be affected by your life experience. Positive mirroring fosters growth, nurtures creativity, and provides a space for the soul to expand. Negative mirroring hinders soul embodiment, squashes potential, and creates fear. 

As Mothers we are the mediators of our child's experience. How we mediate influences the quality of life for our children. Ask any therapist and they will agree the Mother Complex has a strong influence on the outcome of an adults life. Mothering is a BIG job, and our culture is one that does not fully value nor support the importance of this vital relationship.  

When we recognize our own importance, mothering becomes deeply meaningful and we feel inspired to keep our focus on what is most vital: our sense of wholeness as women and the depth of our connection with our children. This promotes the positive mirroring that is essential to our children's ability to thrive. When we feel empowered we empower our children to do the same. 

Let us support each other to create an evolutionary shift about how we FEEL as mothers, and inspire our children to create a life that thrives.

We create life, we carry life within us, and we nurture all life from without. Let us feel as powerful and as beautiful as we are!

So, I want to know what is the embodied feeling you hold as a woman and mother right now ?

Bring Back Your Mama Mojo With This Technique *VIDEO*

OMG, I have slept through the night AND woke up without having to be for someone else! It's just ME, this morning. How glorious! The littles have spent the night with my parents, so Nate and I could have a date night. It was a lovely evening with my love, but I have to admit it does not compare to this fabulous morning of sleepfulness and inspiration.

It got me thinking about all those little pockets of Alone that I create for myself while also being available for my babies. It immediately brought me to the space of meditation. Do you meditate? I have to say without it, I am a disaster.

I remember several years ago, when I first sat down to meditate, it was awful. My mind buzzed and huffed and puffed and resisted every minute of it. As I continued to practice, it truly became a  special sanctuary of me. It's like slipping into a steamy warm and private bath (another favorite Alone time ritual).  The best thing about it is as you become more familiar with the space that is both expansive and specific , you can call upon it throughout your day.

In this video I share an easy way to get started with a meditation practice. It's a simple technique of following the breath and staying within the body. Again, as you become more comfortable with it, you will enjoy finding moments throughout your day for a mini session.

Don't forget I'm available for you, so leave questions or comments below! 

A Return

Back to the blog after a long hiatus! Zosia is now almost 4 years old and we have another child Sebastian who is 15 months. Welcome Sebastian to the blogosphere! 

 

 I have gone on quite a trip myself. Becoming a mother of two really challenged me in many ways. I felt overwhelmed by the huge responsibility of juggling the many needs of two children and also my husband, oh and of course myself. Now that Seb is walking on his own and communicating somewhat, it has gotten easier. Zosia has also started preschool two days a week and  my husband and I have carved out a somewhat regular schedule. I'm beginning to see myself again. 

Any clear sense of who I was, all the things that I identified as me, even my very body, had been rearranged, turned upside down, and inside out. And yet, I am still me.

How can that be? How can I be me and yet feel completely altered? What exactly changed?

My understanding of who I am.

I am not a finite definition. I am infinite. I am not only this and that, but I am more expansive than I realized. And it feels like love and awareness at the being level, not an intellectual idea.

It did not come easy.

This all takes place within the heart-space. Where the human grows to become more divine. 

And so, the question remains... How EXPANSIVE can I become?

Sponge Painting

"Jumping Frogs in Lily Pond"

Hello Spring.... Welcome Painting!

Now that the weather has shifted, Z and I are exploring Toddler Painting. I have been really looking forward to sharing this with Zosia. We used Melissa & Doug non-toxic, washable poster paint and set up a few colors in lids of my old Illy (espresso) tins.

She knew just what to do...

It was a great way to start talking about color... she kept asking for blue. It of course turned into a more tactile experience... hands feeling brush, feeling wet paint...

Using all tools to paint...

My little Picasso...... armed and dangerously creative!!

Zosia's first brushed painting: "Welcome Spring"

Fishies!!! A joyful trip to the aquarium...

5 Ways to Make Peace with a Tantrum

Sometimes I think of myself as a guardian angel, subtly guiding my daughter towards staying a confident, self-reliant, creative, and compassionate individual. I do this by letting go. I'm not concerned with controlling her behavior, but with seeing her intentions/motivation behind her actions. This requires a lot of patience.

When Zosia challenges me, I have to make space between she and I and really look at what's happening without prejudgement. When I let go, instead of react, I have the opportunity to listen to my intuition. Sometimes I choose not to interfere with a choice she's made. (Is it really that important to me that she stop splashing in the dog's water? Or is it because it upsets my adult sensibilities?) Sometimes I need to step in to address a situation. When I do this, I try to connect first with her and then watch for clues she understands what I am trying to communicate. My relationship with her is most important. Gone are the days of spankings and withholding love as punishment.  

5 Ways to Make Peace with a Tantrum ~

1. Label the Emotion: When Z throws her head back, stiffens her body, and wails with fiesty squeals, I say to her calmly "Oh, I see you are frustrated. " Then I suggest she say "Oh I'm frustrated, Mama." I'll even mimic a little frustration so she begins to associate the word with the emotion. It helps her know I see her, I hear her, I care about what she is feeling, and I understand.

2. Take a Deep Breath: This is good for both she and I. I take a nice long inhalation and exhalation and ask her to do the same. Sometimes this works, most of the time it doesn't . But, I keep trying! Someday I know she will enjoy her breath as much as mama.

3. Do Nothing: Making space around the situation is key to acting out of love and intuition, over reaction and frustration. I'm not suggesting passivity in the sense of insecurity, but a relaxation into beingness that brings clarity and patience.

4. Match her Intensity: Sometimes I'll playfully mirror what I see her doing. Sometimes this will crack an immediate smile on her face. I'll make frustrated sounds and stiffen a bit, making sure not to 'make fun' of her but instead communicate to her that I see her, hear her, and I understand.

5. Maintain Deep Connection: The most important thing to me when I'm guiding her is to feel deeply connected. Gone are the days of issuing out orders or treating children like play toys with no regard to their beingness. Nourishing my relationship with her, limits the need for discipline. When you are in communion, life moves in harmony.