Let me be as a Child

a small adventurer of this World

Always Open to the Newness of this moment.. 

and this one, and that one, 

and again this One Moment.

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Beans, Beans the Magical Fruit...

Zosia and I enjoyed a great Montessori sensory experience with beans.This was a great easy activity to occupy her investigative mind and practice focus.

We attempted practice pouring beans from a large bowl into a smaller one.

As you can see, some beans didn't make the bowl! She is always interested in what Papa and I are doing, so she was eager to copy me in bean pouring.

She loved exploring the beans with her hands as well. She did make a few attempts at eating them... but I was quick with removing them from her tiny mouth. It's definitely not a solo activity. 

I love sharing new experiences with her. She is a smart one and I have to keep up with her inquisitive mind.  We will definitely play with beans again. We stopped after 30minutes (mom was hungry). She would've played another 30minutes I bet.

 

Mama's little bean counter. :)

 

Bleeding Heart Love

Living in the Heart can be so scary. The world isn't always delicate with our soft spots. More recently than not, I was afraid to be seen. You know, deeply seen. My insides would flutter and flip and my body would react with jittery scampered movements. I was a fish caught on a line desperately trying to wriggle free of what, to my nervous system, felt like a moment of life or death.

I am a sensitive person. I don't mean overly emotional (although I've had my moments), but I mean I have high sense perception. I feel the situation from the inside out. Colors, moods, emotions, sound, quality... this is the stuff I rest in. Subtle shifts are monumental in my mind.

In order to avoid this sometimes painful sensitivity, I had become hard... armored with steely intellectual sword and shield. I would judge, avoid, blame, manipulate...all disguised protection. My heart would rebel with dramatic outbursts. Leaving me confused and stuck in personal purgatory. I unconsciously struggled with the dichotomy of living in the head and living in the heart.

Now I am aware of what it means to live without shell. My insides served out, juicy with liquid butter. Oh yes, it is a tender heart....even more sensitive now that I consciously choose to be open. My mistakes are giant to me and leave my heart bruised and achy. But, I would not have it any other way. To be truly happy is to look deeply at life, find truth.... and love it fearlessly. 

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5 Thoughts on How I Mother

1. Honor Her as Her Own Being - I read in Unconditional Parenting, by Alfie Kohn, this idea that we treat adults better than children. If an adult friend was occupied with something, we would not demand they immediately drop what they are doing for us. Why then would we not respect our children's attention?

2. Show Her Love with Close Contact - Touch is such an important part of feeling connected and establishes a sense of belonging.  It also has a calming effect on the nervous system which results in better functioning of all our body processes. Being snugly and affectionate is good for the whole family.

3. Allow Her to Explore ( & Get Messy) - Trying to control or coordinate her every move would not only be exhausting, but would weaken her self confidence. I do not want my daughter to be afraid to try new things. I try not to prejudge the situation, rather I watch carefully to see how she is handling herself with new things or situations. If I truly see her challenging her safety, I step in. Otherwise, I trust her natural intelligence.

4. Recognize My Parenting as the Greatest Responsibility - I can see how this mothering thing could be a disaster. It's easy to slip into selfish ways and choose my moment over her needs. Right now, she needs to be close to mama. This time together sets the foundation of her life. Will she live in a world of love, or a world where we have to harden our hearts?

5. Be the Role Model - Zosia is the greatest reason to live to higher expectations of myself. She shines a light on all my flaws. Her brightness and innocence shows me where I have room to improve. For I know that she is a direct reflection of me.

INFANT ART PROJECT #3 - Swirls & Goop

 

Z and I had great fun experimenting with another infant art project. This idea we borrowed from a book I discovered listed on several mama blogs, 'First Art' by MaryAnn Kohl. She calls this project 'Feelie Goop'. It's soooo simple, and so much fun. You begin by pouring 2 cups of cornstarch into a baking or deep dish. 

Zosia really enjoyed feeling the texture of the powdered starch.

 

That alone probably would have sustained her attention for 20 minutes or so.  But the excitement was just beginning...

I added 1 cup of water to the cornstarch to make it officially goop. I let Z play a few minutes with the goop before... we added COLOR. 

Using food coloring I dropped in some BLUE...

...and she Swirled color...

I added RED...

And then.. GREEN.... and... YELLOW...

My little Picasso was hard at work. 

She enjoyed every second of it, as did I!

We stopped when our goop went to... poop. 

...and then Off to the bath. 

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As a bird, I perch my love on high

recognizing all things as beauty.
Everlasting light of mine,

I embrace the recognition of my sorrow 
and Fly Free towards the Sun

Blazing Hot the awakened seed of my potential 

i soar

i soar 

OH Love i soar on high!

ever-bright

ever-new

my Love,

i fly to you!

 

Chalk Art - INFANT ART PROJECT 2

 

Such a challenge to find good art projects for the wee little ones. We just happened to have had crayola chalk in the house + watercolor paper. So viola, art project #2.

 

 

Zosia enjoyed herself for about 15min. It didn't seem to hold her attention as much as the paint project. I did keep it out for her, and she returned a few times to explore again.

I loved watching her draw lines of color. It's so fun to share these moments with her. Really everything is exciting to a child. They are so new... everything is fresh! It's a great reminder to see the world from this prospective. 

Ever-new I rest in this moment with no judgements, just total acceptance.

If you enjoyed this post, you might also like Infant Art Project 1

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I am the Space 
that absorbs your cries 
and Opens for Joy.

Teach me what I do not know about myself.
 Blind, I feel my way from the Inside out

expanding always into ever-deepening LOVE.

It's Not Voodoo, Woo-Woo, or Wackadoo - What does it mean to LIVE CONSCIOUSLY?

Creativity is the foundation of LIFE. We make an act of creation during every choice we make, in every thought. Shall I have an espresso this morning? Yes. There it is! I've created a new moment for myself. I'm not waiting for something to happen to me, I'm choosing my Way. We are all ARTISTS of our life. When we begin to awaken to this understanding, life becomes simple yet extraordinary. We begin to desire the brightest colors, the best possible materials, and to refine our technique for living. This is what it means to LIVE CONSCIOUSLY.

 

To be CONSCIOUS in life, is to have a heightened sense of awareness of the present moment, and to continue to refine our approach to living in order to actualize our fullest potential as a human being. We are ALL on a journey towards true happiness and peace. It might feel unattainable at times, especially when we are knee deep in the struggle. But this discomfort is an important part of the journey. The discomfort is the opportunity for growth. There's a Buddhist saying 'That which is the greatest challenge, holds the seed for the greatest potential'. When we recognize these seeds of potential, the pathway ILLUMINATES and we can make the choice to follow it towards true happiness.

A way to look at it, is as a Pac-Man game. As we are moving about in our 'everydayness' or grazing on the path of white dots, we sometimes are met with challenges - the ghosts. When we overcome these challenges we receive the cherry and advance to the next level of being! When you look at life as an ever-new adventure, you feel truly ALIVE! 

When instead we let the waves of the world WHIRL us around or let our past habits blind us, we are not awake to this pathway. We go about our days with low-grade depression and an undercurrent of anxiety. This anxiety is the inner conflict of not attuning to our AUTHENTIC SELF which always knows its direction towards peace. This loss of connection to Self creates confusion and a sense of being lost, which then leads to low-grade depression or worse. 

How do we stay in HARMONY with our Authentic Self?

•  Become Aware of Internal Sensations Within the Body – Imagine a time when you had felt the most disconnected to your Authentic Self. While you are reliving the experience, begin to take notice of what is happening within your body. Examine what sensations you are feeling. Tension, jitteriness, cold, numb, etc. Now start to notice where you most feel this sensation – in your stomach, arms, throat, etc. Get as specific as you can. Now imagine a time when you felt most connected to Self. What does that feel like within your body? Calm, peaceful, light, spacious? Really take notice of the difference between the two experiences. When you fine tune your awareness of your internal body sensations, you begin to develop a radar system to stay on track towards happiness.    

• Invest in Purifying Habits – Just as a marathon runner needs to train for the big event, it would be helpful to us to make healthy choices for our body, mind, spirit. Everything we think, do, and see effects our consciousness. We absorb our environment AND our environment is a reflection of who we are. What we think contributes to our actions. In order to make our Authentic Self more available to us, we must let go of habits that no longer serve our best interest for being. The great thing is, as we grow more into our true Self we become more sensitive in general. It’s harder to watch Televison shows/movies about violence, anguish, and despair for our personal entertainment. Poor diet choices make us sick. We even pick up negative energy from other people and become uncomfortable. This sensitivity is a part of the refinement process towards unbelievable JOY. 

• Make Friends with Your Imperfections – As we begin to recognize life as a ‘personal journey of never-ending growth’, we begin to see the difference between where we’ve been and where we have yet to go. This confirms our life as ADVENTURE! In order to remove more layers of old habits that no longer serve our Authentic Self, we first have to make peace with where we are at right now. This means LOVING yourself with the most sincere COMPASSION.    
   

We are on a mountain, climbing, climbing day after day. We are now conscious of this mountain, conscious of our climbing, and fully engaged with our whole being to our adventure and goal in reaching the highest peak. As we climb we become painfully aware of the seeming struggle of each foot placement and of how much further we have yet to travel. When we finally reach a plateau, we rest. We rest in our accomplishment thus far. We know we have more work ahead of us, but at this moment we accept this new space as it is. 

Finger Paint.. er...Body Paint... er... Mess = INFANT ART PROJECT 1

Zosia had her first experience with COLOR and ART! I honestly couldn't wait to share a moment of creativity with her. It's a challenge to come up with infant art projects that are safe and interesting for little ones. Finger-painting with colored flour and water was our first experiment.

It's pretty simple... all you need to do is:

• get paper/posterboard as a 'canvas' 
• mix equal parts flour and water in a medium bowl
• divide flour mix into three separate containers ( I used baking ramekins)
• add food-coloring or fruit/veggie dyes to the mix ( I used red, yellow, blue)
• setup a large 'mess' blanket or work in an area where it's okay to get messy
• have a towel ready for immediate delivery to bath after project

 

 At first I was trying to teach her to dip one finger in at a time to color on the canvas. It surprised me how 'neat' I was trying to be. After a few minutes of teaching her, I surrendered to  her own exploration of the experience. Immediately she went to paint herself. It instantly brought me back to memories of painting myself for hours as a kid. I used to love making intricate details on my body with paint. It is so cool to have those moments of personal reflection while parenting your own child. 

 

By the end Zosia was covered in paint! She really enjoyed spreading the paint all over the place. Flipping over the ramekins was a big event for her and me. I had to totally surrender to the mess and she rolled with joy in and out of the puddles. 

It is a great sensorial experience for her... feeling the texture of the paint, watching the affect she has on the canvas, seeing the difference between the three colors. She really enjoyed herself, and after about 45 minutes, she was finished. It was tricky getting her from the porch to the bath without getting paint everywhere.

All in all it was great fun! I learned to surrender my will for the sake of the moment and reconnected to past memories of pure concentrated joy!

Zosia's First Work of Art

How to Stop Blaming Others - 5 Ways to Bring More JOY into Your Relationships

1. Take Responsibility for your own MIND THOUGHTS ~ Your perception is everything. No one can control how you feel about a situation but yourself. Make your centeredness your primary choice for being.

2. Recognize we are all on a JOURNEY of Self Discovery ~  When you know that we are all working towards a higher goal of becoming truly happy, you begin to respect the process for others. Allowing space for the unfoldment brings joy.

3. See Your REFLECTION ~ That which bothers you about others may be a direct reflection of that which you are not ready/willing to accept about yourself. Example: "My neighbors are overweight, rude to each other, and are neglectful towards their pet" = "I have a tendency to be lazy and can make poor choices for my diet, I sometimes speak to my husband disrespectfully, and sometimes choose not to take my dog for a walk"

4. Grow Your SELF AWARENESS ~The better you become at being the observer of your own thoughts, words, and actions, the easier it will be to make higher choices. To know your limitations is a powerful key to unlocking your potential.  

5. LOVE thy Neighbor ~ There is no room for judgment when you Love.

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i am the bird inside

listen deeply, you will hear the message

buried beneath my heart ~

Let Go My Love, i sing

Feel Joy My Love, i sing

begin anew

How I Use Montessori to Raise a Confident, Focused Child

While I was pregnant I would often peruse the child rearing section at BN to get some ideas on parenting approaches. I happened to stumble upon the book 'Montessori from the Start: The child at home, from Birth to Age Three" by Paula Polk Lillard and Lynn Lillard Jesson. To be honest, it was the cover that intrigued me…2 wooden toys, simple. 

I opened it and immediately felt connected to the ideas that were printed. Ideas like honoring the infant as a human being in development, creating an environment of simple beauty, protecting the child's concentration, and allowing the child to develop their independence and assist themselves. There are only a few photos inside, but they amazed me. Seeing a 9 month old drinking from a small glass and another playing independently with one toy, made me curious on what I could learn from this book. I am so grateful to have purchased it that night.

The concepts are based on discoveries made by Maria Montessori, a medical doctor in Rome during the early 1900's. She held several observational studies, watching and discovering how a child naturally develops. She then based the development of her educational approach on these findings. Her goal for education was for assisting "the development of a complete human being, oriented to the environment (that is aware of his place in the natural creation of the universe) and adapted to his time, place and culture (prepared to meet the challenges of a specific historical period). " Explained by the authors, "The only reason that each of us is here on earth is our ability as human beings to meet these needs of the human spirit: needs of art, music, religion, and all other areas of self-expression and love for creation and humanity. It is by these means that we contribute to our particular culture and social group, and can change them for the better." Ding! Ding! Ding! (went the imaginary bell I have in my head) sounds like truth to me! So, Nate and I committed to trying on a Montessori approach to parenting Zosia.

It began with the decision to skip the crib and instead use a child-bed (essentially a futon on the floor). Boy, did we get the crazy-eye from people when we mentioned this! But, I tell you, we are soooo happy we made this choice. Now that Zosia is crawling, she is able to get up in the morning independently at 9 months and go to her toy shelf to play and explore. It was such an amazing mama/papa moment to wake up and peek at Z playing alone, confident in her own abilities. (Because of this freedom, the room is designed and organized with safety in mind and we do have a gate at her door). 

Another fantastic idea we used was to create sensory exploration with a 'treasure box', which is filled with different objects from around the house. The idea is to choose objects that vary in size, shape, weight, texture, and so on. My little scientist would sit for 30 min – 1 hr investigating her box. It's really fun getting everything together. I love challenging her with new objects. It's awesome to watch her explore. She really is like a little scientist… picking things up, dropping them, comparing two objects in each hand, tasting it, unraveling it, etc. It is a great tool to engage little ones and develop their concentration and focus. 

One of the Montessori mantras is 'teach me to do it myself ' . This takes a lot of patience and commitment by the parent. For me, it truly is a spiritual practice... can I be still for my child? can I breathe into this moment? can I honor her as she discovers her sense of self? It is well worth the sacrifice of selfishness. This is how Zosia teaches me. And, I am so grateful for the lessons. :)




I will continue to share with you our Montessori adventures as Zosia continues to grow.

~ MamaBird