2. Show Her Love with Close Contact - Touch is such an important part of feeling connected and establishes a sense of belonging. It also has a calming effect on the nervous system which results in better functioning of all our body processes. Being snugly and affectionate is good for the whole family.
3. Allow Her to Explore ( & Get Messy) - Trying to control or coordinate her every move would not only be exhausting, but would weaken her self confidence. I do not want my daughter to be afraid to try new things. I try not to prejudge the situation, rather I watch carefully to see how she is handling herself with new things or situations. If I truly see her challenging her safety, I step in. Otherwise, I trust her natural intelligence.
4. Recognize My Parenting as the Greatest Responsibility - I can see how this mothering thing could be a disaster. It's easy to slip into selfish ways and choose my moment over her needs. Right now, she needs to be close to mama. This time together sets the foundation of her life. Will she live in a world of love, or a world where we have to harden our hearts?
5. Be the Role Model - Zosia is the greatest reason to live to higher expectations of myself. She shines a light on all my flaws. Her brightness and innocence shows me where I have room to improve. For I know that she is a direct reflection of me.
My mother-in-law once said she learned more from her children than she ever taught them...the same has been true for me on many different levels.
ReplyDeleteThree practices I instinctively adhered to that taught my daughters to trust and respect me in their teen years & beyond:
1: Always tell them the truth. Answer sensitive-topic questions using an age-appropriate approach, but it must be the truth, always.
2: Fully acknowledge them as "short people", a phrase borrowed from a friend. This means respecting them as a human being. We never used baby talk. Words are just that: words. People were amazed at our daughters' vocabulary, but it just came from treating them as people, not little cupie dolls, as some people do. This doesn't mean they have the same level of decision-making rights in the household: a family is not a democracy. It merely means that children's needs should be as respected as adults' needs are.
3. Always, and I mean always be ready to follow through with a consequence for unacceptable behavior. Think carefully before stating what that consequence would be, because you absolutely must do it if necessary. Just doing this once will have a huge impact. I once left a cart of groceries in the store because of constant begging & that night we had a dinner from cans that they didn't like very much. Never had that problem again, and they behaved better in other situations after that as well.
Corey, of course these tenets will apply when Zosia is older. Just wanted to share.
I think of you and Laurie often- I remember well those days when my children were so little!
Love, Anne
Great additions, Anne. Thanks for taking the time to contribute. You said you think of 'Laurie' and I often, I'm trying to figure if I may know you from outside the blogosphere??
ReplyDeleteYour hubbie's Aunt/ Donnis side. I'm Ed's youngest sibling.
ReplyDelete